7 Tips to Handle our Kids

It is always important to watch your tongue, especially when speaking to your kids. Your words stick to them like glue and are not easily erased. Watch what you say and avoid uttering the following seven things to your child.

Translated and adapted by David Hall from the original article “7 coisas que você nunca deve dizer aos filhos” by Michele Coronetti.

Every parent hopes for the best for their children. Although, occasionally parents are less careful than they should be when it comes to using unkind words.

Over the decades, childraising skills have been examined and reformed. As a result, a slow and sometimes-negative progress has emerged. Controversies have constantly arisen on the subject of how to teach and raise children.

Unfortunately, the vision of child raising tends to change once a parent’s child grows out of her toddler years. Parents often perceive that, had they reacted differently in those moments, they would have felt more successful as a parent.

Here are a few tips:

1. Do not lie. No one likes to convince a child to do something tedious, like taking medicine or studying for a test. Telling them things such as “It won’t hurt,” or other similar lies should not be told to children or teenagers. Remember that you are an example and a model to your children. If you tell lies, they, too, will start to lie.

2. Do not always tell them “yes.” Any responsible man or woman wants what is best for those they care for. Love, however, is not measured in things but rather through limits placed and attention given. However, do not stifle your child’s creativity by abusing the word “no.” Balance and fairness are key.

3. Do not label your children. Just as a sponge sucks up all the water around it, so do children absorb every word you say. He will grow to believe that he really is stupid, obnoxious, fat, ugly or whatever else you tell him. Nobody is perfect.

4. Do not compare. Your child is already trying to acquire only a little of your attention every day. When you compare, using phrases such as, “Your brother is better than you,” “Your friend does this well. Why don’t you?” “Why aren’t you more like Susie, over there?” your children’s egos are damaged. When this happens, low self-esteem and rebellion take root in the souls of just about anyone. This is not only true with children, but teenagers and adults, as well.

5. Do not criticize. As bad as the picture is, albeit an imperfect circle with four or five messy lines jutting out of it, praise their disposition, creativity, incentive and show it to others with pride. Comment on their victories and avoid condemning their study, work, appearance, friends or choices.

6. Do not say things you do not like to hear. This includes swearing, off-color humor, severe scolding, talking bad about others, complaining about everything or anything else that you find downgrading or despicable. There is a saying, “What comes out of your mouth is so loud, that what you say cannot be heard.”

7. Do not place blame. The life of father or mother is not perfect. It, often, leaves us so stressed that we end up passing on the feeling of guilt to our children. If the house is a mess, your child is probably the one responsible and you handle the situation without direct or indirect accusations. Harmony will reign in your home, and your future will be even brighter.

There is an endless amount of things not to be spoken in a home, but there are even more things that should be said. And remember, the most important thing to do, above all is to love your children. With love, the things you say will be naturally more inspiring.